1. Good hockey
Look, I tell ya, there ain’t nothing that drives these left wing kooks crazier than a good game of hockey. Love the country, love the game, love the sport, simple as that. Go, Canada go!
2. The Canadian flag
Similar to hockey, these pinko commies, a way to just drive em up the wall is to show them the flag of our great land. Except some of them, I’ll betcha they don’t even know what it looks like, they’re so busy being left wing nuts. Give your heads a shake!
3. Great oral sex
Listen, I don’t care if you’re a good old fashioned Canadian or a left wing kook, there ain’t nothin out there that drives someone crazier than some good cunnalingus.
I tell these young guys all the time: fellas, stimulating the clitoris ain’t nothin to be afraid of. Just gotta give it your best shot. And you gotta be generous—it’s the basis of any healthy relationship!
Gilmour! Doug Gilmour, now there’s a guy who could eat some pussy!
I don’t got time for these guys who are too macho to go down on a woman. Give your heads a shake, folks.
Remember that, folks, the key to a solid relationship is generosity. Now that’s what I call a game winning goal!
4. The troops
The flag, good hockey, fighting in hockey, the troops—is there anything these left wing jokers aren’t outraged at all the time? Don’t they ever get tired?
5. Don Cherry
I know whenever I open my mouth, some of these bleedin hearts always have something to say about me. I drive ‘em crazy. And you know what, it gives me a chuckle every time. Love giving these kooks a run for their money.
6. Top shelf oral sex
Can’t stress this one enough folks.
7. Our troops overseas and at home
NOTHING BOTHERS ME MORE THAN WHEN THESE LEFTIES DON’T PAY THEIR RESPECTS TO OUR TROOPS IN UNIFORM. MAKES ME SICK I TELL YA. DRIVES ‘EM ABSOLUTELY NUTS TO JUST SEE SOMEONE IN A UNIFORM. ♦