BMW and Audi test self-driving cars that cut people off, park like assholes

MUNICH (The News Desk) — Touring reporters through a test track strewn with debris and cars parked across multiple parking spaces, representatives from BMW and Audi announced today that their companies are working on a self-driving system that will allow their cars to cut people off and park like assholes autonomously.

“We want our cars to behave in ways that only BMW and Audi drivers can,” said head of BMW engineering Alfred Hintze of the joint effort.

“We want them to fly past other self-driving cars and make people angry and sarcastic, causing them to say something like, ‘way to go buddy!’ and applaud them or give them a thumbs up. That’s what we’re striving for.”

Hintze claims that while other automakers might focus on navigation and safety while developing their self-driving systems, BMW and Audi have decided to focus on replicating an “unmistakably BMW and Audi approach to driving”.

“We don’t yet know if we should have them park diagonally across two spaces or three,” said chief Audi engineer Gregor Siedemann. 

Image via Wikimedia Commons

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