Report: life pretty crazy when you’ve got an older brother named Duane

SACKVILLE, N.B. (The News Desk) — Citing a high rate of insane shenanigans and ludicrous antics, a new report out of Mount Allison University has found that life is pretty crazy when you have an older brother named Duane.

“With respect to taking part in outrageous pranks and generally engaging in nutso behaviours, our study found that the presence of an elder sibling named Duane was often the catalyst for these activities,” said the report’s lead author, Kim McMorran, adding being party to wacky stunts such as taking the family station wagon off-roading, riding a snowboard down the basement stairs and being dared to drink 12 cans of Dr. Pepper in one sitting were not uncommon.

“The maximal impact of Duane-influenced tomfoolery occurs when the Duane is four years older than you and has his own two-door car,” McMorran noted.

“The hijinks are quadrupled if the Duane is a stepbrother.”

McMorran noted that her team is currently investigating the hilarity of having an older sister named Denise. ♦

Image stolen from Shutterstock

If you liked this, like our Facebook page!