SWIFT CURRENT, SASK. (The News Desk) — Yelling “Surprise!” through chattering teeth at all those assembled, a tiny frozen stripper popped out of a Dairy Queen ice cream cake on Tuesday.
“I was only hidden deep inside the cool treat for 48 hours, but that was enough time for my body to reach a near-hypothermic internal temperature,” said Denise, the petite exotic dancer, adding that she was virtually immobile within the classic DQ Round Cake with her feet firmly rooted in a base of rich chocolate soft serve, her midsection encased within an irresistible fudge and crunchy centre and her shoulders and head coldly held in place by a layer of creamy vanilla.
“But I grew up in Regina, so I’m used to the cold,” she said with a laugh.
Despite a virtual shutdown of her internal organs, the scantily clad exotic dancer leaped out of the cake with verve and vitality, to the delight of the individuals gathered to celebrate a coworker’s retirement.
“I train my body to withstand the hours spent nearly naked in a frozen dessert by immersing myself in Skor Blizzards several times per week,” the diminutive performance artist revealed, noting that she is inspired by the feats of endurance by David Blaine.
After chatting briefly with the assembled party, the shivering, minuscule performer politely excused herself to warm up in a thick bath of hot butterscotch. ♦
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