Stephen Harper smiles for first time in months

OTTAWA (The News Desk) — Attributing the smile to a deep, welling sense of satisfaction, sources reported that a broad grin broke across former prime minister Stephen Harper’s face after current prime minister Justin Trudeau caused a physical altercation in the House of Commons on Wednesday.

Sources close to Harper confirmed that the smile, which began to creep across the sitting MP’s face the moment Trudeau began “manhandling” Opposition whip Gord Brown, was the first to appear across his face in months.

“For months he would just be sitting there during votes, staring into space, not saying a word. And all of a sudden today, this brilliant, sunbeam of a smile is on his face,” said Conservative MP Rob Nicholson. “It was kind of jarring to see.”

“When he saw Trudeau walk across the floor with that confident head wobble, it looked like his world melted away and he experienced pure joy for a second,” said Conservative MP Alupa Clark.

“I never pulled this kind of shit when I was around. Even you guys can’t deny that,” a visibly satisfied Harper told members of the press while making his way out of the house.

“I’ll be in Calgary if you need me.” ♦

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