Report: Thailand mostly just filled with guys named ‘Matt’ now

BANGKOK (The News Desk) — Blaming the phenomenon on more than four decades of increased Western tourism, a study commissioned by Thailand’s Ministry of Tourism confirmed Tuesday that Thailand is mostly just filled with guys named “Matt” at this point.

More than 80 per cent of the people roaming the streets of Bangkok alone are now just guys from America, Canada and Australia named “Matthew” or “Matt,” the study concluded.

“We’re not even kidding. It’s, like, almost purely guys named Matt,” confirmed study author Dr. Apirak Sai-ngam.

Locals agreed that the number of guys named Matt in Thailand has reached unsustainable levels.

“The city is crawling with them and honestly it’s really ruined the whole experience of Thailand for me,” said Matt Purcell, a backpacker from Vancouver, Canada.

“Please, no more white dudes named Matt,” said Bangkok governor Sukhumbhand Paribatra.

Further reports confirmed that tourists interested in avoiding guys named Matt should consider the neighbouring countries of Cambodia and Laos, which are only 23 and 31 per cent guys named Matt, respectively. 

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