Canada considers removing “tits” from national anthem

OTTAWA (The News Desk) — A tense session of Parliament concluded Tuesday following hours of debate over what may be the most contentious issue the Trudeau government has had to address thus far.

A private member’s bill to remove the word “tits” from the national anthem gained support on both sides of the aisle, but equal numbers of members of Parliament have found themselves in opposition to the change.

“Mr. Speaker, ‘O Canada’ has been around for 110 years,” said Conservative Party leader Rona Ambrose in the House of Commons. “Is the honourable member suggesting that we abandon tradition in the name of what is in fashion today?

“While we’re at it, perhaps we should also remove the phrase ‘Just to be clear, this song supports the patriarchy’ and completely sacrifice the historical value of the song?”

The bill originated from a petition calling for the change.

“‘Tits’ is an infantile and offensive term that has no place being sung in schools and at hockey games,” the petition reads.

The petition goes on to argue for the word to be replaced with a more acceptable version, such as “ta-tas,” “funbags” or “knockers,” whichever suits the rhyming scheme best.

This is the first time a change has been proposed for that particular section of “O Canada,” although similar motions in the United States have managed to scrub their anthem of the words “cunnilingus,” “wazzup,” and the N-word. ♦

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