“We could do another Anne of Green Gables,” suggests CBC exec

TORONTO (The News Desk) — Excitement was palpable at the CBC headquarters in Toronto this week when the network’s top television executives met to discuss plans for new shows. Execs noted that the network needs “fresh new ideas for provocative television that challenges and inspires Canadians.”

After eight minutes and nine seconds of shuffling papers and mumbling the words “content” and “engagement”, VP of Canadian development Jane Small spoke up.

“We could do another Anne of Green Gables,” she said, quietly.

Cheers erupted around the table.

“Incredible,” whispered one executive.

Emboldened, Small added, “What about a show where immigrants arrive in a small town? And they gradually discover that despite all their cultural differences, they’re actually similar, deep down?”

Small was handed a cheque for $12,000 and promoted to president of English services on the spot, amid raucous applause.

“And! What if there’s a show with a detective … who solves mysteries … in Eastern Canada! But we find out that he has a dark past and secrets of his own!” she shouted over the din, which only grew louder in the feverish mood that gripped the room as the executives imagined the awards they would give one another.

“Okay, try this on for size,” she continued. “A show that doesn’t rely on played-out tropes of Canadianness or geography to fit with some imaginary Canadian self-image, but rather tries out new ways of story-telling or introduces voices we’re not used to hearing in Canadian media?”

The CBC announced later that day that Small no longer works at the network.

Anne of Green Gables: This Time It’s Personal will air Tuesdays at 9 p.m. EST. 

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