Facts about Santa Claus

Spends his entire year judging children

Likes to hang out at malls

Owns millions of slaves

Was part of the First Council of Nicaea

Loves Coke

Is physically larger than all of his slaves

Is the patron saint of Russian merchants

Has a crypt in southern Italy filled with his bones

Makes his slaves produce millions of iPads every year

Was, according to forensic tests, barely five feet tall and had a broken nose

Favourite activity is to laugh ♦

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