Our philosophy here at Rotator Farm Restaurant is simple: straightforward, honest, no-bullshit food, made with the best possible ingredients, with an emphasis on technique, honesty and an unmatched attention to detail, made to nourish, educate and inform the guest about what they’re eating in an honest way.
This is not the kind of food you’ll find at a fast-food restaurant, or a supermarket, or from the back of some mysterious truck. There’s no trickery here or shortcuts. This food was created in a spirit of complete openness and not lying.
If you’re looking for food-related lies, I’m sorry, you’ll have to go somewhere else.
From the bottom of my heart, I swear to God that there is absolutely nothing fishy or suspicious about this food.
You should come to Rotator if you’re looking for food that is so honest and simple that it almost makes you want to laugh. If you want to be completely perplexed about the ingredients of a dish, served food that is prepared using arcane methods, or be served a tomato pumpkin bisque that contains no pumpkin, tomato or bisque, stay far away.
The lies, the deceit, the betrayal: all of it ends the moment that you sit down at our restaurant.
No more clever ruses or being given the slip in the middle of a meal. No more culinary betrayal or murder. No more shadowy figures flitting through the dining room in the middle of service.
We are a team of experienced professionals who love what they do. What we are not is a troupe of aging chefs who have lost their minds, travelling by moonlight from town to town, serving gullible people secret foods designed to shake and rend their fragile minds.
What does lying feel like? Can you tell me? Because we at Rotator will never know the feeling of lying. Only the feeling of honest cooking.
We would also never lie about how we’re actually capable of cooking at a much higher level, but choose not to, about how many of our dishes contain human DNA, or about how everything we do is part of a larger web of lies.
We do not lie, like some people’s fathers, about how spicy a soup is, causing the son great trauma, inspiring him to flee home in search of honest cooking, a journey that would ultimately cause him to go mad and lose all frames of culinary reference.
We at Rotator have seen what lies can do to people. We have seen the effects that non-straightforward, complex cooking can have on the fragile psyche of an innocent, vulnerable diner.
You’re safe now. You have placed your trust in us, and we will never, ever, ever test the boundaries of that trust.
That’s it. That’s our philosophy. ♦
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