Toronto trades Maple Leafs to Florida

TORONTO (The News Desk) — The City of Toronto announced today that they have traded their storied hometown NHL franchise, the Toronto Maple Leafs, to Florida in exchange for a handful of draft picks.

The trade comes in the midst of a rebuilding period for the Maple Leafs, following yet another disappointing season.

City officials ultimately determined that no part of the team was salvageable, despite the team’s efforts to shuttle under-performing players to other teams around the league in the off season.

“We had the opportunity to move the entire team and we took advantage of the offer,” said Toronto city councillor Eve Mauritz.

“The players, coaching staff, trainers, equipment — we’re getting rid of everything.”

In exchange, Florida is sending Toronto a second-round draft pick in the 2017 draft, two food trucks and a crate of oranges.

“At the end of the day, I think we got the better end of the deal,” said councillor Norm Kelly.

“It always comes as a shock when you find out you’ve been traded,” said Maple Leafs president Brendan Shanahan.

“But I can totally see where they’re coming from. To be honest, it’s kind of a relief.”

The Leafs’ former arena, the Air Canada Centre, will remain the home of the Toronto Raptors.

It is not known whether the Florida Maple Leafs will play in the NHL next year. Some sources near the organization have claimed that the team is preparing to join a local roller hockey league. ♦

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