Are those Timbits for everyone?

Look, I don’t know how to say this, but I noticed there’s a box of Timbits in the middle of the table. Are they for everyone, or…?

I mean, I hate to be that guy, but they’re not really in front of anyone, so it doesn’t seem like they belong to anyone in particular, and I’m just wondering, are they fair game?

We’ve been in this meeting for an hour, and I’ve been staring at the Timbits box for the last 57 minutes. I don’t think I’m alone in this.

I totally understand if they belong to someone. I certainly don’t need a Timbit. But if we’re just talking about a box of Timbits that someone brought in for the table, then I’d really like one.

Preferably, and I’m talking ideally here, I’d like a sour cream glazed — no! — a chocolate Timbit. Unless there’s only one chocolate one left — then I’ll take whatever. My second choice, obviously, is sour cream glazed. Or just any Timbit that isn’t raisin. Have you tried the raisin ones? Gross.

Do we even know whether there are Timbits in there? A lot of people use those boxes to put garbage in, or, like, cookies or something. Or a bunch of old napkins. I certainly don’t want that, and I don’t want to be the guy looking in the garbage box for hopefully a chocolate Timbit. That’s pretty pathetic.

In all seriousness, I need a detailed breakdown of the contents of that box, and I need some kind of chain-of-custody report. I don’t think any of us can move forward until we have that, at least. ♦

Photo by Stokette