Words of the Year 2015–2035


coup de tap – Government or regime change instigated by social media and smartphone use, especially in Syria, Wisconsin and McDonald’s.

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Stephen Harper announces one hundred days of spectacles and games


OTTAWA (The News Desk) — Months of rumours were confirmed in the capital today when Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced a hundred-day celebration, to be held across the land, which will feature spectacles, games and other forms of pageantry.

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Real Peter Mansbridge seen crawling out of Pacific Ocean


VANCOUVER (The News Desk) — The real Peter Mansbridge was seen crawling out of the Pacific Ocean today after a particularly strong storm hit the coast of British Columbia yesterday evening.

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Leaked documents reveal extent of Canada’s cooperation with CIA


OTTAWA (The News Desk) — Newly leaked documents have █████ the ████ ███ of Canada’s ████ with the CIA.

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Oil companies announce plan for ‘Oil-free Canada’


CALGARY (The News Desk) — In what some are calling an environmental game-changer, a consortium of Canada’s largest oil companies announced today that after years of scrutiny and pressure from climate groups, they have finally switched to a more sustainable, “oil-free” strategy for Canada.

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Signs your four-year-old daughter is a freeman on the land


The Freeman on the Land Movement is winning converts across the nation. How can you be sure your sweet little princess isn’t being sucked in? Here are some signs to watch out for.

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Exam essay questions that you can actually answer


1. Write out what you imagine the instructions of this exam would be if you had read them.

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Rex Murphy demands capture of the ring bearer, safe return of “precious”


OTTAWA (The News Desk) — During a special broadcast earlier today, commentator and CBC host Rex Murphy announced that he had lost one of his rings, and explained that he would generously compensate whoever could ensure its safe return.

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