Burger King learns about breakfast from Tim Hortons


One factor that the announcements didn’t mention is that Burger King, which has had a hard time competing with McDonald’s and Starbucks for morning customers, could also gain from Tim Hortons’ breakfast expertise.

The New Yorker

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CP Rail president orders demolition of local community gardens, twirls moustache


VANCOUVER (The News Desk) — Community members along the Arbutus corridor rushed to gather their supplies, harvest their vegetables and hide in their homes as Canadian Pacific Rail employees began demolishing community gardens in the area on Wednesday.

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Toronto police arrest self-proclaimed ‘Wolf of Bay Street’


TORONTO (The News Desk) — Toronto hedge fund manager Joe “Wolf” Wilkes was arrested Tuesday morning after police caught him harassing pedestrians in Toronto’s Bay Street financial district.

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Debunking popular myths about the Phillips Brewing Company™


Some people have been asking us about our recently-secured sponsorship deal with the Phillips Brewing Company™, which allows us to provide free beer at Syrup Trap meetings. To clear up any confusion, here are some popular myths about the Phillips Brewing Company™.

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Mayor Gregor Robertson attempts to cover up massive oil spill


VANCOUVER (The News Desk) — Shocking reports today suggested that Vancouver Mayor Gregor Robertson attempted to cover up a massive oil spill moments before his girlfriend returned to their West End apartment Sunday afternoon.

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Harper government releases list of “life hacks”


OTTAWA (The News Desk) — In an effort to increase efficiency and encourage economic growth, the Government of Canada has released a list of “life hacks” designed to give Canadians an edge in the workplace.

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Fans speculate which Tour de France rider George R.R. Martin will kill off next


NÎMES (The News Desk) — Fans of the popular television show Le Tour de France have begun speculating which rider will be the next to meet his downfall at the hands of series creator George R. R. Martin.

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Big male humans ready to do shooty fighting thing again


UKRAINE (The News Desk) — Big alpha guys on both sides announced today that they were ready to do the shooty fighting thing again.

“These different people are bad and did bad things to us, so it’s time to do the boom fighting shooty thing again,” claimed a prominent big guy while breathing heavily.

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